Raised going to church only for the promise of food afterward, Kerrington never truly connected with faith until her world was shaken by family struggles and personal challenges. Feeling lost and battling depression, she turned to a double life to cope, hiding her struggles from friends and family. Eventually, Kerrington found genuine peace and purpose by fully committing to a life of faith, breaking free from old habits, bringing sin to light, and embracing Christian community.
I grew up like going to church, but I never really actually wanted to go. I would only go because we were promised Tim Hortons or McDonald's afterwards. So my big back was the reason why I went to church mainly and never heard anything about the gospel
Growing up, my life was very happy. It was very fun. There wasn't, like, much suffering that I ever went through. It was just like, very easy, breezy, beautiful cover girl life for a while.
When I turned 12, my parents ended up getting a divorce when I was in middle school, which kind of rocked my world entirely. And I got really depressed and really anxious and was constantly questioning what my life was going to look like, what does marriage look like? What is the point of doing anything anymore? If, like my parents marriage failed, then life must fail as well.
I was just really depressed for a good like three years until high school. At freshman orientation, I met my best friend, Olivia, who was, she brought me out to her high school group. It didn't take much convincing for me to go, weirdly.
I didn't really take anything out of that teaching or most of it. I was just kind of there for the fun and to, like, make new friends and to, like, join another clique, I guess, if you will.
So I went out there for, I think four months before I finally accepted Christ. And after I accepted Christ, I was in my bathroom in the shower and I was like, okay, this God thing seems kind of cool.
So like, people keep telling me about it And so I accepted Christ and it was just like a weight lifted off my shoulders. I like, felt like I, like, finally belonged somewhere. But I didn't also fully, like, know the reason. Like why I accepted Christ I just kind of did it
After isolation was over, my junior year started and that's where my life took a complete turn. Even though like my walk with God was thriving, internally, didn't feel like I was thriving.
I think my flesh, like, really took over and I started to smoke a lot of weed and like, started drinking and that whole time I was just like, lying to all my friends, lying to my family about this life that I'm living. On the outside. I was living this, like, perfect Christian girl life, you know?
But actually I just wasn't at all. I was in school and at work, like, doing all these other things that are so opposite of what God calls us to do. And I think, yeah, like during that time, like I got back into the depression and anxiety that I had already felt before and ended up like starting like counseling and stuff like that, which didn't really work because I think God was constantly drawing me back to him.
He would always remind me of first Peter 5:8 where he calls us to be sober minded and to be cautious because the devil is prowling around like a roaring lion. And I think that would like always worry in the back of my ear every time I got high. But I would just constantly ignore it and be like, "it's a plant...God made it...so I can smoke it" which is just not true in any way, shape or form.
Through that I chose to make the second decision at Epic and I just chose to fully commit my life to God, realizing that I'm discipling someone while also living this double life. Like which one is better? Obviously following God is way better than living a double life.
I never felt like that, like depression and anxiety and like all of this, like crazy things that I did feel and like, while I was living my life outside of like after making the second decision.
So I finally chose to do it. And it was cool too, because the girl I was mentoring also made the second decision the same night.
I realized like these things I just should not be doing. These are not helping my walk with God in any way. I'm just suppressing all my feelings and emotions and not actually going to God and handing them over to Him and experiencing his grace.
And it was, like when I made that second decision, at Epic, which was where I was just like, "God, I need you. Like, I need help. I need something to help me stop doing these things. And I just I want to experience your grace like I experienced when I first came to Christ and. Yeah. And so, like, I realized that, like, I can't do any of these things on my own. I'm trying to live this life by myself and community is on the edge of, living my life, but it's not actually what my life should be centered around.
And the value of life is following God and is living my life for him and it's not for living my life for myself, but I can focus on other people and like, focus on reaching the lost and doing things for God instead of doing things on my own.